Dr. Gina Gentile’s Youth Soccer Insights: Listening to Your Athlete
Listening is an art, and not one we all practice enough – Here are Dr. Dina Gentile’s insights on why listening to our youth soccer players in critical for development.
This weekend marked the end of lacrosse season for my seven-year old daughter. This was her first time playing the sport while others on her team had a few seasons of experience.
For many in soccer our children start playing at an early age and develop a sense of security when playing the game because they comprehend how to pass, dribble, and shoot. But we always have to be reminded that there are new players coming through the youth soccer system who may need some more attention and also some time to reflect about what the have accomplished.
My daughter announced at dinner that she needed to take a break from lacrosse this summer and she will start up again in the fall. I asked why she needed the break and she quickly chimed back saying she needed her “brain to rest”! This was a mentally trying season for her learning a new game and trying to balance being a below average player when in her sport of soccer she is a solid contributor.
As a parent I felt sad that she was so exhausted from learning new skills and also that she did not feel worthy on the team.
As a coach I know the best approach really is to listen to our children so they do not dislike sports and they do not get burnt out from their experiences.
Parents should remind children of all of the successes he or she has achieved (as a new or returning player) over the season.
We decided to focus on how much our daughter improved on throwing and scooping the ball and her tenacious defense. Her memories of the sport should be positive because we want her to have an opportunity to flourish on the lacrosse field.
The same will be true of novice soccer players, parents can take some time immediately following the season to recount funny stories or good plays that will now define the season versus having the focus center on what the player did not achieve from a skills perspective.
Many times parents must play psychologist and we must become effective listeners. As much as I wanted my daughter to say she wanted to go to lacrosse camp or play lacrosse in the backyard all summer, I needed to “hear” that she needs a break to refresh and re-energize because this new sport took so much effort from her.
Summer camp season is upon us, if you have plans to register your child for camp be sure to discuss the camp agenda and schedule so your child is invested in the decision to attend camp. Focus on all of the positive aspects of camp from meeting new friends to playing new games introduced by new coaches.
It is so easy for adults to lose sight of the fact that these athletes are still growing children who have their own set of needs. Listening to their concerns and desires will help your child build trust in sharing their emotions and feelings with you.
Sometimes a break is all a child needs to get more excited and enthusiastic about trying a new sport.
SoccerToday’s columnist Dr. Dina Gentile is a Professor of Sport Management at Endicott College. A volunteer youth coach herself, Dr. Gentile understands from both practical and theoretical experience what happens on the soccer field. Gentile has also coached the Endicott College Soccer Team for 11 years. Gentile is also the owner/director of Precision Soccer, LLC, which operates camps, clinics, and coach education training throughout the year. She is a former All-American and Academic All-American at Adelphi University. Gentile has been inducted into the Adelphi University and Endicott College Halls of Fame. In addition, she is a trainer with Positive Coaching Alliance and the Girls Program Director with New England Premiership Club – Benfica USA. She is the proud coach of her daughter’s and son’s soccer teams in her hometown.
