Why Today’s Soccer Players Need Tough Love and Honest Coaching
No Excuses … that is the honest line drawn by Anson Dorrance as he discusses coaching collegiate players – and after 47 seasons at UNC and 20 championships, he is absolutely a legend to listen to. He is one of the most successful coaches in America, and he believes soccer players need to accept constructive criticism and not deflect with an assortment of excuses…
Anson Dorrance, a legendary figure in American soccer, has profoundly influenced the sport through his exceptional coaching career. As the head coach of the University of North Carolina (UNC) women’s soccer team from 1979 to 2024, Dorrance led the Tar Heels to unparalleled success, amassing a record of 934 wins, 88 losses, and 53 draws. Under his guidance, UNC secured 21 NCAA national championships, establishing a dynasty in collegiate women’s soccer. Beyond the collegiate level, Dorrance also made his mark internationally by coaching the U.S. Women’s National Team to victory in the inaugural FIFA Women’s World Cup in 1991.
Throughout his career, Dorrance has observed significant shifts in player attitudes, particularly concerning coachability and resilience. He notes that modern parenting styles often emphasize heralding self-esteem to the extent that young athletes may struggle with constructive criticism and accountability. This shift presents challenges in coaching, as players may be less receptive to feedback aimed at fostering improvement. Dorrance emphasizes the importance of developing self-awareness among athletes, encouraging them to embrace high standards and personal responsibility to reach their full potential. 
Dorrance’s coaching philosophy centers on the belief that true excellence is achieved through consistent effort, even when unobserved. He asserts that “what you do when no one else is looking will determine how good you will be,” highlighting the significance of personal dedication and integrity in the journey toward success.
SoccerToday Interview with Anson Dorrance
Diane Scavuzzo: What was the single biggest lesson you learned as a coach?
Anson Dorrance: The most powerful factor in the success of any team or organization I’ve been part of is answering this: Do you love the people around you—and do they love you back? If the answer is yes, you’re on solid ground. If not, you’re in trouble.
Putting your heart into something is often dismissed as a cliche, but if you’re leading a team, loving the people around you is absolutely critical. That doesn’t mean being soft. Sometimes, loving someone means being tough and holding them to a high standard.
Diane Scavuzzo: What role do parents play in how coachable a player becomes?
Anson Dorrance: A huge role. Parents today often try to be a friend to their kids instead of the adult in the relationship. They’re afraid to set boundaries, to discipline, and that can be damaging to their child’s development—not just as an athlete but as a person.
You have to set standards. Being a parent is about guiding your child to make the right choices, not shielding them from every discomfort.
Diane Scavuzzo: What’s one of the best compliments you’ve received from a player?
Anson Dorrance: I’ve had many players transition to the pros and later tell me, “Coach, you were harder on me than anyone, but I never doubted that you cared.” That’s the essence of great coaching—holding players to what they’re capable of achieving, even if they don’t always see it themselves.
Diane Scavuzzo: What’s the difference between transactional and transformational coaching?
Anson Dorrance: Transactional coaching has its place—you help players get better, they help you win. But transformational coaching goes deeper. It’s about helping athletes become better human beings, not just better soccer players.
The real relationship is about teaching life lessons through the game we both love. The ultimate goal is to shape a principled, self-aware person, not just someone who achieves on the field.
Diane Scavuzzo: How is retirement treating you?
Anson Dorrance: I love it. Honestly, I should’ve retired 20 years ago! I’m enjoying the freedom—reading more, playing sports, spending time with my family, and connecting with people on a deeper level.
Diane Scavuzzo: What do you miss the most about coaching?
Anson Dorrance: The camaraderie. Being at practice, watching games, celebrating victories, and even commiserating after defeats. I stayed involved by attending every home game and practice even after stepping down.
Diane Scavuzzo: What defines a “coachable” player in your eyes?
Anson Dorrance: A coachable player doesn’t fight the feedback. They don’t see criticism as a personal attack but as a way to get better. The best players are the ones who respond with, “You’re right, coach. I can do better.” No excuses.
Diane Scavuzzo: Do you think today’s players struggle more with being coachable?
Anson Dorrance: Yes. Too many players are conditioned to make excuses. I’ve seen a shift over the years. There was a time when parents would get upset with their kids for bad grades; now they blame the teachers. That mindset bleeds into soccer.
A lot of these kids come to college and, for the first time, a coach is the only adult telling them the truth and holding them to high standards. That’s a tough adjustment for some.
Diane Scavuzzo: How do you think U.S. soccer stacks up globally?
Anson Dorrance: We’re doing well. We’re still kicking everyone’s ass, as usual.
Diane Scavuzzo: Is where a player trains critical to their success, especially as a youth soccer player?
Anson Dorrance: Everything comes down to the player.
Sure, pro clubs have great facilities, and their youth academies can be wonderful but that doesn’t guarantee development. Sometimes players spend hours in a car commuting to training when they’d improve more by spending that time playing 1v1 in a park or working on ball mastery against a wall. Sitting in a car does not improve a player.
Diane Scavuzzo: What’s the biggest mistake young players make?
Anson Dorrance: Lack of self-awareness. Most players think they’re more self-aware than they really are. Studies show only 15% actually are. Without that awareness, players can’t take ownership of their development. The key is getting honest feedback and learning how to accept it.
Diane Scavuzzo: And your coaching mantra?
Anson Dorrance: What you do when no one else is watching will determine how good you will be.
