Mental Strength: The Mindset of a Champion
Soccer Coaches: Tips on Dealing With Challenging Players
I’ve recently talked with coaches about dealing with ‘challenging’ players. This coincides with the latest Sport Psych Show podcast, where I spoke with Dr. Sean Figgins and Dr. Fiona Leggat, two young sport psychologists researching the impact ‘difficult’ players have on teams.
There are many ways that coaches may find players to be ‘challenging’ or ‘difficult’. Untimeliness, rudeness, hostility, laziness, constant negativity, selfishness, and gossip are the types of challenging behaviours that coaches have to deal with on a daily basis.
I’M VERY SORRY BUT THIS IS INCORRECT.
If you feel this way, I’d like to help you understand that this philosophy, this message, and this approach are hindering you as a coach.
One behaviour (or set of behaviours) that coaches find tough to deal with and regularly want to talk with me about is a lack of coachability. Understandably, coaches want players to be coachable—to listen to their coaching points, receive those points with a positive attitude, and strive to put effort and energy into working on those coaching points.
I get this! Coaching can feel like the most challenging profession or hobby at the best of times (and it probably is), let alone when a player isn’t engaging with your instructions, right?
However, as coaches, we’d do well to remind ourselves that individual differences will always exist across our teams. We’ll probably never encounter a coaching position where every player behaves in a manner that suits our personal coaching lens.
So what do you do when that player you’re trying to coach rejects your ideas, subtly ignoring you or overtly suggesting they know better than you?
Firstly, embrace the push-back. It’s great news! You get an opportunity to coach this player differently. You get a chance to engage this player in a more non-directive way.
ASk, “TELL ME ABOUT HOW YOU SEE YOUR GAME?”
If you are coaching at a level that offers video resources, sit in front of a film and ask the player to describe what they’re thinking as they watch themselves. And then keep quiet. Listen!
Take some notes. Be a student of your student. Be curious about their lens of the game – the language they use, the behaviours and actions they believe are essential, and evidence of the coaching they’ve previously had. Players and their skills come loaded with history; at this juncture, your job is to be a historical detective.
Read: DAN ABRAHAMS: THIS IS HOW SOCCER PLAYERS CAN IMPROVE THEIR GAME
Reflect back to them what you hear. Have them affirm that you’ve heard them correctly. They’ll feel listened-to. They may even feel valued.
At this point you have a choice. You’ve started your case file, and that’s a start. It’s time to let them play how they want to. Or…now’s the time to put your coaching points across. Now may be the time to do so, or a little time in the future – either way, when you do deliver your points, make sure you firstly point out the positives related to their way of seeing the game:
“I like what you were saying about why you’re looking to play off the shoulder of the defender there. I think that’s insightful and I can see that working against many opponents in many different systems…”
Brendan Rodgers, Leicester City manager, said that he imagined every player has an invisible tattoo with the words ‘help me feel great’. Help this ‘uncoachable’ player feel great about their perception of the game.
Listen to them, then help them feel great!
But now’s the time for you to reinforce your coaching points. Do so in as evidence-informed a way as possible. Relate your ideas to the logic of the game, the rules, and principles of play. Whilst these can still be subjectively perceived and appraised, they have a more excellent objective quality, and they can offer greater persuasive power as a consequence. Layer logic with the geometric qualities of principles of play where applicable. Again, qualities with a subjective element to them also hold greater objectivity.
But Still Don’t Insist. You Insist, They Resist!
Make your coaching points ‘suggestions’, and I would even go as far as striving to get permission to give a suggestion (I’ve done this with coaches at Premier League level—it can be necessary in even the most autocratic coaching climates).
“Do you mind if I make a suggestion here?” And then give your suggestion…
…and then ask them on a scale of 1-10 how useful they think that suggestion is (with ‘10’ being so helpful that they’ll do it straight away…and ‘1’ being they believe it’s an awful idea).
Scaling takes the emotion out of the exchange. It gives you an accurate idea of what they think of the coaching point you want them to engage in. And it allows you to find out what they do like about your instruction:
“Ok, so you’ve said 7. Why as high as 7? What do you like about the idea?” And wait for them to respond. This can allow you to follow up with more reasons why it’s such a necessary instruction for them to adhere to.
You can use this scaling process to ask them what it would take for them to get to ‘9’ or ‘10’ and subsequently go and practice your coaching point. Yes, get them to tell you what needs to happen. Get them to tell you what is required to help them be coachable. And then execute what they need from you. As long as it’s reasonable and logical, then there’s no reason why you can’t follow this player’s lead (rather than you lead them).
Listen to Them, Help These Soccer Players Feel Great
Ask permission to suggest, scale their belief in what you’ve suggested, be curious about what it takes to get them to try your suggestion, then follow their lead – the psychology of influence, right there in a few steps!
AN OVERARCHING THEME HERE IS PATIENCE. DON’T GIVE UP ON THIS PLAYER.
Be patient. Such self-talk is as vital for coaches as it is for players. Privately talk your way through the process to avoid feelings of frustration or anger. Manage your coaching behaviours in order to model the kind of learner you’d like this player to be. Patience, patience, patience!
A global sports psychologist and author specializing in soccer, Dan Abrahams is based in England and works with professional soccer players in the English Premier League (EPL). Abrahams has worked with hundreds of soccer players – many who play in the English Premier League (EPL). From working with players at Crystal Palace, QPR, Fulham, and West Ham among others, Abrahams counsels players on how to play at peak performance. Abrahams has authored several books and has a Soccer Academy as well.
