Mental Strength: The Power of Communication in Youth Soccer
Coaches shape more than just tactics—they shape mindsets. Yet, most soccer coaches underestimate the profound influence their words have on young players. From youth soccer practice sessions to game day, every comment, instruction, and feedback can build mental strength or shake a player’s confidence.
In this exclusive SoccerToday article, renowned sports psychologist Dan Abrahams explores the psychology of coaching, revealing how language affects player development, motivation, and resilience. Whether you coach elite youth soccer or grassroots teams, understanding the power of your words can make all the difference in unlocking player potential.
In simple terms: Most Coaches Do NOT Realize How Powerful They Are
Coaches know how to motivate their players to reach their full potential. 
But are we always so careful about what we say to our players?
Coaching soccer isn’t just about setting up your team, drilling their technique and skills, and supervising small-sided and long-ball games. In fact, to my mind, those things, the non-negotiable hard skills, are the easy skills.
A PLAYER’S CONFIDENCE GROW OR DIMINISH IN EVERY YOUTH SOCCER SESSION
These basic skills are your rod and staff, and every coach should be fairly competent in these areas of technical and tactical acquisition.
Over the past decade and a half, I have delivered at all levels of soccer, from leading English Premier League (EPL) clubs to grassroots youth soccer teams. I firmly believe that the soft skills are the hard skills.
The psychological and social components of development and performance are so often ignored by coaches, yet they are the mediators between bad and good sessions and good and great sessions. Let me explain myself a little.
Do you know how to help soccer players focus better? Do you know how to help soccer players deal with distraction? Do you know how to help a youth soccer player reach their full potential?
If not why not?
PLAYER DEVELOPMENT IS MORE THAN TRAINING EASY SKILLS.
Concentration control gets to the very heart of excellence in sport. Do you know how to help a player develop self-efficacy (self-belief) and performance confidence? If not, why not?
BELIEF AND CONFIDENCE BUILD OR BREAK DEPENDING ON THE COACHES WORDS AND ACTIONS.
Have you ever considered coaching dominated by the three C’s: communication, communication, and communication?
Every word you say impacts every thought they have. Every word you say delivers an injection of cortisol and adrenaline or dopamine and adrenaline – in other words, stress or focus.
EVERY WORD A COACH SAYS BUILDS CONFIDENCE OR DAMAGES CONFIDENCE.
Every word you say reinforces a helpful behavior or a destructive one.
Dan Abrahams’ Five Ways To Communicate Better with Youth Soccer Players:
1. Keep communicating about what you want, not what you don’t want. The number of PROFESSIONAL coaches in England who shout out “Don’t foul” is extraordinary. Not only does a player release a picture of fouling the player into his or her mind, he or she also becomes tentative, fearful, and anxious.
2. Be precise: We’re all passionate about the game – so it’s easy to waffle…especially before or after training (I can be very guilty of this).
MAKE YOUR POINTS CLEAR, PRECISE AND SUCCINCT.
Let the players leave with your voice resonating through their minds. And remember, only a couple of really bang-on points.
3. Ask questions: guided learning helps players become a student of the game and a student of their game. It helps tap their natural curiosity and works at a deeper, more semantic level than if you are constantly telling someone what to do.
4. Correction rather than criticism: negatives are like Velcro to the brain. The brain is evolutionarily programmed to remember negatives…so be careful with your communication when talking to a player about a weakness or a mistake.
It’s not rocket science – the classic sandwich communication work wonders “You’ve been passing it well lately…it’s been positive, well done. But I noticed you gave the ball away when you were under a bit of pressure in the match – can you tell me more about that?”
A COACH CAN ASK, “I WATCHED IT FROM THE SIDELINES AND I SAW SOMETHING — WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO A LITTLE BETTER NEXT TIME WHEN YOU’RE IN THAT SITUATION?”
5. Enjoy the silence: Lastly, rule number one! Coaches feel they have to talk all the time – don’t. Let them play.
LET THEM MAKE MISTAKES. LET THEM ENJOY FREEDOM ON THE PITCH. LET THEM HAVE FUN WITH THE BALL.
A global sports psychologist and author specializing in soccer, Dan Abrahams is based in England and works with professional soccer players in the English Premier League (EPL). Abrahams has worked with hundreds of soccer players – many who play in the English Premier League (EPL). From working with players at Crystal Palace, QPR, Fulham, and West Ham among others, Abrahams counsels players on how to play at peak performance. Abrahams has authored several books and has a Soccer Academy as well.
